OKCupid: We Browse The Profile | Autostraddle

Are you a promiscuous individual residing a promiscuous land? Based on OKCupid, purveyor of okay tests and finer women, if you’re staying in Pittsburgh, Seattle or Portland,
you are probably because naughty due to the fact time is long
. You know what more? If you use twitter daily, odds are 2:1 that
you are going to masturbate today
. In addition if
you are on Autostraddle and it’s Sunday
. Duh.

These facts (?) are really and good, but I’d fairly explore all of us / you. With the 1,000+ concerns currently marinating within my formspring inbox, around 25per cent are about OKCupid — just how to compose a profile, ideas on how to start discussion, just how to answer emails, when you should fulfill. It appeared like smart to poke around OKCupid and check in for you. We looked for utilization of the phrase ‘autostraddle’ and um, all of you are SWEET. Some people even included united states inside range of six issues cannot live without! (today we know how pencils and coffee experience!) Because you’re much more fascinating versus correlation between twitter use and day-to-day masturbation, we read about you. We had been rather satisfied.

Autostraddlers on OKCupid Exhibiting Specialness


with cartoons by
Intern Hot Laura
!

The self-summary:

1. “I’m amazing.”

You are excellent at:

1. “selecting breakfast spots.”

2. “carrying out shots.”

3. “waiting in 3rd place.”

4. “Being the big scoop.”

5. “Developing lettuce.”

6. “phoning you right back just about every day too-late.”

7. “inadvertently pooping from no place and startling people. [we meant to compose popping out-of no place, but this typo is so amusing i am making it].”

8. “Quoting Margaret Cho.”

The most important situations people frequently see about yourself:

1. “Dat azz, guy.”

2. “the shortcoming to cover my personal cleavage.”

3. “My serpent bites.”

Your chosen food:

1. “Any Such Thing + Anything – Chicken Ft = Food.”

The six items you could never carry out without:

1. “My personal hands.”

2. “Weed.”

3. “one or more enemy- because absolutely nothing motivates like resistance.”

4. “Red cowgirl shoes.”

5. “Something to write with, a great (light, razor-sharp) chef’s blade, a lip/cheek spot in a nice dark red, love, GPS. It will be a lot more romantic to say “maps”, but bang that.”

6. “Cashew walnuts.”

[Ed. notice —
hell yes
]

7. “you would be surprised how often clothes is optional.”

Spent a lot of time thinking about:

1. “The thing I ‘m going to consume next.”

2. “the things I can put on this profile to make people just like me.”

3. “Re-making Thelma & Louise in order that they write out by the end.”

4. “Whether my personal techniques are secured into the vehicle, I kept my cellphone frying in my own top seat, or I’ve missing something yet now.”

On a regular tuesday night you might be:

1. “Finding someplace to put all those lifeless bodies.”

2. “If you provide remotely masculine of heart I’m spending tuesday evening examining the sofa.”

By far the most private thing you are happy to acknowledge:

1. “I dislike Bette.”

2. “When it comes to basic 7 approximately many years of living, I would have preferred getting your dog to getting an individual. Like I would take in h2o from a bowl on to the ground and bark at people.”

3. “The reddish hair is artificial.”

4. “Occasionally when I kiss my puppy he licks me on lips and that I you shouldn’t even worry about.”

5. “I out of cash my knee while streaking. No, I didn’t will drive in an ambulance nude.”

6. “I only operate with things figuratively; you may make me laugh but i’ll most likely however not run with you.”

We should content you if:

1. “you are considering radiance at night mini tennis.”

2. “You don’t have unresolved mental illness.”

3. “you may be left handed.”

4. “you would like people to boogie poorly alongside you someplace in the Castro.”

5. “you may be illiterate, but had the ability to get the ‘Wild celebration’ research inside my ‘about myself’ area.”

6. “Will get married you when you get it once I make use of the pickup range “Hello Sue, I’ve got feet! Do you like bread?”

7. “You make a good grilled parmesan cheese.”

www ratemybody com

All to you noise really strange and datable! Hey, perform all remainder of you employ OKCupid? How’s that worked out obtainable? I would like to hear your tales.